Feeling blue…

img_7309Today is a bad day….I had my 11th Decapetyl injection earlier and I feel absolutely rotten and horrible.

Is it possible that the injections could stop working? My GP said it’s not possible but I have definitely felt, during the last few weeks that something is off. I had a whole week where I didn’t eat, sleep, talk, I moved around like a fat slug….leaving a little trail of misery as I go.  I’m riddled with guilt, I am most definitely the definition of a slummy mummy.   I feel like such a failure in so many ways and that all I do is let people down.

The injections are still a DEFINITE improvement on what I was going through before but they do come at a price. I consistently experience extreme fatigue/muscle weakness, I’ve gained weight which I cannot lose (Perhaps the wine/chicken nuggets have something to do with that one 😳)   and the days of good skin and hair have long gone, replaced with a dowdy looking, crazy pyjama wearing cowbag !

As previously mentioned my gynaecologist has agreed to do a total abdominal hysterectomy but won’t set a date until I see him again on April 7th. I’m worried sick he will change his mind. I want my life back, endometriosis, cysts and PMDD have robbed me of so many weeks over the years.  I actually worked it out today, 37 1/2 weeks out of 134 weeks have been lost due to PMDD alone.  That’s 37 1/2 weeks where the world has just stopped, 37 1/2 weeks of my life wasted.  I just want to feel better, I’m so worn out from battling and struggling on and on.

Sorry I’m such a miserable moose, it’s one of those days. 😪😪 xx


One thought on “Feeling blue…

  1. Catherine Meek says:

    Hi. I tried decapeptyl and although it was miles better than no meds, i found the daily nadal spray gnrh analogue to be much more agreeable- its called Synarel and works in a different way to decapeptyl but with same effect. I have sandrena gel (1mg recently increased from 0.5mg ) and utrogestan (progesterone) 100mg tabs as low level ad back hormones. It’s taken years but finally I feel like I’m getting somewhere. Im Also in the midst of becoming a single mum with 2 young boys. Sadly my partner doesn’t really get it and has taken to drink to cope with the way i was for years (while they thought it was chronic fatigue/rapid cycling bi-polar/depression/anxiety etc etc.) which doesn’t help matters. Not worked for years (I’m a solicitor) and have fallen out with family who say they “can’t help me if I won’t help myself”!! Only a PMDD sufferer will truly understand how ridiculous that is. To have got thus far is a virtual miracle given the lack of knowledge in the medical fraternity. Thankfully I found Nick Panay on the internet and got referred. Great to read your blog. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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