‘Put the biscuits down Sophie’ I look at my colleague defiantly as I pop my 7th digestive in my mouth….which I subsequently choke on, spluttering biscuit crumbs everywhere.
Today I’m feeling a bit imbalanced to say the least. I woke up with what only can be described as a mountain range on my face, lovely snow covered spots (ewwww) with a particularly fetching replica of Everest on the side of my nose. My body hurts, it actually sounded like I had a percussion orchestra in my bedroom when I got out of bed. My boobs have all but disappeared – gone are the grapefruits (sadly I never had melons). Now they just hang, looking as tired as I feel.
All I want is food, I actually grunted at Sam this morning whilst I shovelled blueberry shreddies into my mouth, I don’t even think I chewed.
On my arrival at work I started on the biscuits, Erica managed to nab four before I selfishly moved the packet away, showing them in my crumb covered mouth, one after another. I swear they were saying ‘eat me, eat me now!’
My cravings are so intense, when I’m eating I don’t feel quite so shit, I’m momentarily transported to a peaceful place, a world where I look great, have energy and zest for life, a world where I’m basically not a hormonal bitch. In this fantasy world Paul Hollywood is floating around bringing me trays of cake and bread…..hence why I choked – I forgot to chew again.
I suggest McDonald’s for lunch, knowing I can further feed my cravings, the greedy cow that I am. I don’t even feel bad afterward, aside from a tad guilty – I keep burping strawberry milkshake (which is of course one of your five a day 😉) in front of my colleagues….
On the drive home I was racking my brains, why oh why do I suddenly feel worse and want to eat everything in sight?Why do I feel teary ( I sobbed during BFG) and so off kilter? Then the realisation hits me like a tons of bricks…I’ve only gone and forgotten to apply my oestrogen pump (a.k.a my lifeline) two days running. Firstly WTF? And secondly…